...known someone to truly miss you?? Never before Sunday did I know what it's like. It's really depressing. Especially if that one person sounds like their crying while leaving a message on your phone or if they pour their heart out into a letter.

Easter Sunday, Paul was allowed a phone call... he chose to call me, not his parents. The worst part was... I missed it. I missed his phone call. The ironic part though, is that the WHOLE day I kept checking my phone for no reason. I questioned myself why I was doing it, but I had no idea. So after the 100th time of checking, I left my phone in my room. And that's when he called. I was so angry with myself. Hell I still am. He left a voicemail though, so that made it a little better, but he does sound like he was crying or just about to cry... I feel really bad because he should have used that call for his parents. Not me.

Then on Monday, to make matters better (or worse, I still can't decide) I got another letter from him. He was open with me for the first time since I've met him. Even though it was in writing, I'm happy he could be open this time. He told me how he feels about me. He wants to be with me, not there, not in California. I still don't understand why he'd want to be with me because I'm 3 years younger than him, but I guess I will get an answer in time. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, what he's saying. He also said "it" first. He said "I love you." That threw me off guard, but it made me happy. The worse part is... in the letter he said he might be getting kicked out... Don't know if that's true or not, but hopefully I'll know soon. He still doesn't know for sure or what his punishment will be. I have a feeling he will just have to do some dirty work in Basic, but who knows.

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