Don't worry, I'll make it as short as possible...

Paul and I wrote for a good while, back and forth to each other. Now were done. My mom found his letters and one that I was in the process of writing and she didn't like what she read. I ended up fighting with her and my siblings for a good time. I decided then, it was best to end things. I couldn't put up with arguing with them all the time and things were getting harder for me. I told him I couldn't write to him and he understood because I at least explained as to why I couldn't. A few days later he sent a reply and he said that would be his last letter too. I still had pictures he wanted me to send to him, so I did that and included a letter. After a month of getting no reply, all I wanted to know was if he got the photos or not, so I wrote him again. Still no reply. So, I'm giving up on him. Not writing to him has been helping. I don't feel depressed anymore by missing him as much. Yes I still miss him, but I'll see him in 2 months. I hope then, he'll understand that I just want to be friends. It doesn't make sense to me to be dating a guy that is going to be in a foreign country for 4 years with the possibility of him dying. It's not healthy. Plus, he's not even going to be the same person when he comes back from training and his four years of service. I finally realized that. And I think I realized that he might have just been a rebound from Travis. So, when he gets back, hopefully we can still hang out and be friends. But overall I hope he understands that.

While getting over Travis, crushing on Paul, and moving on, I started talking to one of my coworkers, Weston. At the time we weren't even friends, but as we started working together more often a sort of bound formed. We started talking online through IM and Facebook. A couple days at work he would spend my entire break with me and on the days he had off, he would come in when I was working, not really coming in to see me. Or so I thought at the time. I just thought it coiencidence. Throughout my "hard" time with the breakup and missing Paul, he was kinda my crutch. Talking to him made me happy. Seeing him at work always made my day. Then when I didn't talk to him or see him, I was literally sad. Now, he's working for his uncle, so he doesn't work with me anymore, but we still talk online a lot and sometimes he comes in on Sundays (now to see me). The first week he started his new job, we only talked like one day that week. That really got to me. I was almost depressed that week, because I didn't have my fill of joking around with him. This past Monday, we both realized something... We like each other. He's still unsure about it because he's never been in a relationship, which is cute and I don't mind. Slowly, we're figuring it out together. I'm hoping things work out and that both our parents will actually approve of this. I'm sure my mom will be fine about it, but I have worries about his parents. They're not your typical parents, which I admire. I love their way of raising kids, because it's almost the way my mom would have wanted it. Homeschooling us. Some of their ideas I'm not too sure about, but one day maybe I'll understand. So, there is no relationship yet, therefore no one is going to find out about this too soon. Mainly family and friends, besides his friend Josh who suggested the "relationship" in the first place lol.

The best thing is, I don't feel lonely anymore!!

Currently Listening Dreaming Out Loud By OneRepublic The Whole CD Baby! see related