So, I think life is getting too difficult. It was so much easier when we lived in Illinois. Granted if I were still in Illinois, I wouldn't have meet so many amazing people (thanks to work and school), but back home I didn't know how it felt to be held by someone, to be kissed. I just went on wishing. Wishing actually seems like it was better then knowing. The knowing just makes it hurt so much worse when you don't have it anymore... Getting to my point, I'm getting sick of seeing all the couples around here. It's not helpful at all. There's too much PDA at school now and the damn teachers don't bother to do anything about it. Another thing that doesn't help is watching my sister and her boyfriend. They have successfully gone out for a year, through thick and thin. It makes me jealous and feel like an idiot. I had what they have and I ruined it for myself. Thus far, I've been the one capable of ruining the relationships. I should have never started this, but "everything happens for a reason", right? ...I hate living by that phrase...

Wow... I haven't written a blog is such a long time. I believe the last time I wrote one was on Xanga around February... So, I'm kinda out of practice. I wonder if any of that made any sense... But it does make me depressed. Couples, guys, love songs, romantic movies... the latter. I can't seem to get out of the "wanting a boyfriend" rut. What does it take to end this? Or does it never end and once you're stuck, you're stuck? ...yeah. I think I'm stuck. Crap. Why is it that we always end up with more questions then answers? My point exactly (see, it's a question). I wish I could ask the questions I have to the people that I want. There are about 3 people I have a series of questions for and I know that 2 of the 3 would get angry at me for asking and 1 would wonder why the hell I'm even talking to him... Guys are jerks... Most of them anyway. Especially the ones that lie, destroy your trust, and tease you only to hurt you. It's not very nice. Okay... I'm just rambling now. I think that's a sign to stop for now.

'Till a later date!

Currently Listening New release 2008 By David Archuleta CRUSH see related