| | They all turn out to be liars, users, and abusers. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but I didn't exactly do that either. I knew most of these people for 6 months to a year. One of them even less, but I just need to rant and he's on my list. These friends I've made have turned out to be different then I expected. I never had this problem with my friends in Naperville and I hope to God they are all still the same. I know that Pat has gone all Jesus Freak, but that's not neseccarily a bad thing. He's following his heart and following God, and I say good for him. He's a good person, he deserves it. But, here, people are so different, it's almost sickening. Some of this might not make sense, but I'm going with it, so bare with me. Brandon(3 weeks): I met him at school when I first transferred here. He was in my Biology class, and I thought he was a decent person. All he really talked about was video games and was really smart when it came to the class. So from February when I moved to the end of May, we were just friends. That was when I realized I liked him. He was my first official boyfriend, but he wanted me for something other than my personality. All he wanted to do was grab my ass or my boobs. He was my first boyfriend! Can you tell how shocked I was!? This wasn't what I thought a relationship was supposed to be about! But he claimed that "I didn't know how to be in a relationship." Well, duh! It was my first time. I ended up being right, he ended up being the pervert, the "user" so to speak. Travis(6 months): Oh yes. Lovely Travis. My second boyfriend. I met him through work and we got along great. Had a lot of things in common. He was honest enough to tell me about his past. How he still partied with his friends, drank, used to do drugs, and smoke a little. I was blindsighted then too. He told me over and over that he hadn't done pot for a very long time and if his friends were to do it around him, he wouldn't. I didn't mind so much about the drinking cause he didn't do it that often, but when he did he told me about it. I was a fool about that too. Everytime he went to drink with his friends, he'd be smoking pot and cigarettes also. Go figure. I didn't find this out until another co-worker of ours, Paul (he's next), told me about it. I confronted Travis about it and he confessed he had done it, and even within the last couple of weeks of me asking. I was truly disappointed. He said that he had a hard time trusting women because of his ex-girlfriend, so what does that mean to me? I lost ALL trust in him. I even flat out told him that it would take a lot to for me to gain his trust back and he knew that. About two weeks later he broke up with my cause I was "controlling". He was liar number one, a user, and an abuser. Paul(6 months): He was also part of the reason Travis broke up with me. I began to like Paul when he told me about Travis and "wanted to be there for me". Right before Travis and I broke up, he left for Marine Training in California and I only had contact with him through letters for 6 months. During that time, I believed our relationship grew. He said things I've only dreamed about a guy saying to me. He said everything from how much he wanted to be with me from how he wanted to hold me, kiss me. I believed it all. He even said that when he came home, he was going to take me out. I foolishly waited that entire two weeks he was home to go out with him. He never made an attempt once. He just made up excuse after excuse as to why he couldn't do anything. His car didn't work, he was hanging with friends, being with family. He left again, but I still held on. We wrote again, and he came back after Christmas. I had my hopes high and waited for the text/call from him saying he wanted to go out. No such luck once again. We "hung out" once while I was waiting to clock in at work. So much for hanging out right? He left a couple days after that, not even saying good-bye. I came to my senses and told him to go fuck himself. The only thing I can think of as to why he did any of this, was to piss off Travis. Paul wanted to get back at him for some reason, so why not mess around with his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. Travis just happened to be working the day Paul sat with me when I was waiting to clock in. I'm considering that as being "used" once again and of course that makes him a liar. Kraig(2 years): Kraig's story is short. I've known him since I moved up here. Through out my second half of Freshman year and all of Sophomore year, he was a pretty cool kid. I thought maybe I began to like him too. Go figure, right? So, over the summer, I started talking to him online. We sort of began to get personal, like talking about our lives and what not. He said he was depressed for no reason and I felt bad for him. I really did. Because at this certain time, I was too, but I knew why I was depressed. So, I asked him if he wanted to hang out. And we did. A couple days actually through out the summer. I even got him to go to the fair, though I didn't get a chance to hang out with him at the concert. This following school year, he started going downhill. He knew a lot of people from Marshfield and started with the drugs and alcohol. He's a brilliant kid, but he's losing that brilliancy because of what he's getting into. It's sad really... Cassandra(2 years): Another friend I've known since I've moved up here. Her story is also kinda short. Out of our group of friends, we all know that she would be the first one ontop of any guy at a party or the one downing some form of booze first, but I don't think any of us really believed it. Maybe it was because we knew she probably wouldn't really do it around us, unless we were doing it too. She, too, was fine until this year. She started hanging out with her younger friends who all conviently have boyfriends more than likely old enough to buy alcohol. Right before her Track season started, she went to a couple of parties. The one time we really knew about it, she missed school on Monday then came back Tuesday saying she was sick, throwing up, major headache. So we all knew what it was. Hangover. Josh(About 6 months?): Here's another guy I feel for from work. I thought he was different too. A jock, but not one of those asshole jocks that only care about the preppy girls at school. I mean, what jock would talk to me?? We ended up exchanging numbers, I came out and told him I liked him, then found out that all he does is party. He does the whole drinking thing, but not the pot. At this point in my life, I can't stand all the guys that love to drink for the fun of it. He said he didn't do it that often because he was on Football and Baseball, but every weekend I went to work and he was there, I always heard something about him being at a party the other night or that he went to the club. Just a couple of weekends ago he was at a party with a couple of my other co-workers and one of them was sent to the hospital because he had a blood-alcohol level of 3.8. I still want to ask him if drinking is still worth it, but I already know what the answer would be. "Yeah." I honestly don't know what to think of people anymore. Right now I'm having problems with a new friend, Nicholas, who I met on the internet. We've been talking since about January. I honestly thought he was straight, never smoked, done drugs, never drank. I still don't know what to think of him. Last night he texted me at 2 in the morning saying he went drinking and played beer pong for the first time. I have a right to be disappointed, don't I?? I thought he was better than that, but I'm not thinking so anymore. I've been trying to ignore him all day, even told him to stop talking to me. He's mad because I'm upset. Why shouldn't I be upset!? He even sent a mass text saying "I drank more than usual". Wait. What!? More than usual?? I thought he never drank. Maybe that's the misconception I got. Maybe I am just a fool after all. Maybe I am the one that's naive. I hate this. I really do. I'm sick and tired of all the liars, users, and abusers!!! |
